i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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