where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
