If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
