So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Im part way to drunk.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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