i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
