i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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