That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
love makes seman taste better
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
i drank out of a bidet.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
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