Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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