i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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