come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Randomize
