...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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