weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Randomize
