Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
