dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
