he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
