my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Randomize
