Dual....:-)
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
