the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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