She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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