Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
