I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
