I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
