Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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