just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
This baby is an asshole
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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