Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Be still, my beating vagina.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
