Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
