I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
