Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
smell my finger.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
