i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
