is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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