I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
