Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
