Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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