im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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