you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
