D3 body, D1 cock
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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