Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
