At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
