i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
