mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
