If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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