im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
