I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Randomize
