it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
