I have demons in me.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
