THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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