Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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