he referred to my room as the tit cave...
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
