i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
