I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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