i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
This house was built for laser tag.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Randomize
