Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
