I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
We're using joints as your birthday candles
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
