Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Randomize
